With the salsa boys looking like a team of fat Ronaldos without the skill or charming bucked teeth, today’s ‘slimming’ vest could’ve come in handy! We’re offering you a Germanium 'slimming' vest for £8, saving you 80% off Fizzy Peach’s price of £39.99 (correct as of 10.7.14). Brazilian press have informed us that Luiz, Willian and Marcelo have been picked up from a local Ben and Jerry’s after eating over 71 tonnes of ice-cream. Unable to move, Neymar and Thiago Silva had to carry them home. Someone close to the trio has reportedly said ‘I don’t know what they would’ve done if those two hadn’t shown up. It could’ve been really embarrassing’. Now safely in rehab, they’re trying to shed those pounds of shame. That’s where today’s deal comes in. Valid in medium and large, this germanium ‘slimming vest’ aims to push up, tighten and firm. In black and beige, with concave-convex knitting, this garment aims to give shape to something otherwise shapeless - too little too late for the Brazilian back four!